Help :(. Best wishes for a lifetime of happiness. You wouldn't happen to be burning a bra right about now would you? Please select a reason for escalating this post to the WTE moderators: Connect with our community members by starting a discussion. Please specify a reason for deleting this reply from the community. This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply. In the episode, Homer recounts the story of Maggie's birth when the kids ask why there are no photos of her in the family album. In fact, before we found out I was pregnant (which was completely unplanned) I was thinking of breaking up with him. If it gets closer to your due date though, and you feel like nothing's changed, I do think it'd be a good idea to consider adoption. This educational content is not medical or diagnostic advice. Be strong. You do make a lot of sense and i guess this is the only way forward. When a woman loves you, she's kind to you. It will not update but downgrade yourself. Why is it when a women gets up the duff it's all her fault? If you just dont see it working it is better to do it now. My only advice is to make sure you don't make your or your wife or your baby's life miserable. The educational health content on What To Expect is reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts to be up-to-date and in line with the latest evidence-based medical information and accepted health guidelines, including the medically reviewed What to Expect books by Heidi Murkoff. Adoption is for some people who want to unselfishly make sure the child is cared for and loved by people who can support it just like toughing it out and having the child, supporting it, and loving it is for others. The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of What to Expect. So you have been together 9yrs, do you have other children you need to think about as well? He will probably try to then use the baby against you. Get a job and find a place to live. I JUST came here to vent not telling people I'm snobby or lazy which I've never been! Remember, the decision you make will decide whether you will be happy or not in the near future. He's not all bad. An increasing number of South Korean women are choosing not to marry, not to have children, and not even to have relationships with men. Just that simple. I want to love this baby, but I can't shake how I feel. Fertility is amazing, making a baby with your own body is an unreal magical power, feeding that baby with your body is some kind of sci-fi-fantasy level of madness. You could have the best partner and tons of family support. Chosing to be in a rebound relationship to forget the past and aiming for some fun also cause a problem. I feel like I'm trapped and no where to go. We respect everyones right to express their thoughts and opinions as long as they remain respectful of other community members, and meet What to Expects Terms of Use. GET A DNA TEST AS SOON AS THE CHILD IS BORN!!! Op: get a job and support yourself. So, maybe try to establish a relationship with your baby now, stick it out for a year or so (w/o getting married), then once you've bonded w/the kid and proven you are a devoted dad, split up w/GF and file for custody. BUTI had such a crappy childhood, I valued that more than I did my own personal happiness. Support yourself. Welcoming your new baby with wishes of health, joy and plenty of sleep. Why is she with you? But men can still get baby fever. AND NO ONE IN THIS SITUATION WILL BE HAPPY IF IT IS. I have 6 sisters and three brothers. I think it's best to do what will make you the happiest. Find advice, support and good company (and some stuff just for fun). Will you make a better progress by doing so? Long story short my ex dumped me. It just reads so snobby and lazy. Add to Favorites. The man I am pregnant by has been in my life for years and is a good man but I am not in love with him. Nobody wants probably so you think men should just force themselves to be in love with someone they're not?? I want to be a father!!! A woman isn't damaged after engaging in sex, having a baby, or ending a bad relationship. I would start making a game plan, create a change. How can you discuss your thoughts with her in a healthy way? Don't let ANY women determine for you when you will become a father! Does it feels good to fake your feelings? YOU'LL BE STABLE. It is something i always knew deep down but i never acted on it. Take a time to learn from your mistake so that you won't fall into the same problem. For many, it was an easy decision that often came down to a gut feeling and the common refrain that. A. If you don't, pursuing. My girlfriend is pregnant and suddenly i realize that she may not be all i ever wanted. I do not know the answer to that. Same boat. I tried to keep them happy and not see the fighting. The preferential parent is a parent who loves one child, the " golden child ," but doesn't love the other (or others), a " scapegoat .". Group Leaders arent expected to spend any additional time in the community, and are not held to a set schedule. Life will not be easier staying with him. Even if it does get better, odds are it won't, why would you want to have a life with someone you don't love? And which case, most would be use safe sex and if thy got pregnant, they would try for an abortion. To start? I don't know what to do. My pregnant girlfriend doesnt seem to want me around. What can I do please? Second thing that you can do after having a baby with someone you don't want to be with, how to deal with it is to be responsible. If I could take a pill that made me love u him I would, whereas I think he thinks he can start a new life if he left me? IS THAT WHAT SHE/HER DESERVES A GARANTEED **** UP ENVRIOMENT? well you could say society won because it was able to force a marriage albeit a miserable one. I've never been the same since he brought out innocent baby into the argument. That showed up as a third factor." Man and woman making love in bed. I am trying REALLY hard to find some common ground with him, to love him, or even like him but the more time goes on the more miserable I am. gals are expect dnt 4get. Your post will be hidden and deleted by moderators. We don't have to be together to love our children. A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group. So today at my apt (weekly NST/ ultrasound due to Covid protocol) baby girl measured 8lb 2 ounces and short so they are saying she will be a big baby and have a big headI had my cervix checked and Im not dilated any nor has 35 weeks - desperate to getto finish line ?? It happens almost all the time that children involved in such situations rather suffer the consequencies. I want to be a father!!! That's what we tackle in today's blog. It does make someone feel down and stressed out but, look at the big picture. If you want to be a dad, the fear that you'll only see your kid every other weekend and maybe once a week is legit. I feel like I'm forcing myself to love her. 2005-2023Everyday Health, Inc., a Ziff Davis company. If you do not want posts which do not comply with your state of mind, don't post. and our Shy behavior A woman who is in love with you will start to be unusually shy. NO PHYSICAL THINGS. They had to do it because the marriage was arranged or demanded, as their families saw them as a burden and financial responsibility to be passed on to a man who was willing to take her off their hands. Having a baby can create a bond that encourages mature personal growth and strengthens a couple's commitment to each other -- but that doesn't happen overnight, and more often, it doesn't. He's not all bad. This may not change her decision, but best to be honest. I got pregnant and was pressured to get married. Everyone has their reasons for doing things and it's not up to us to judge them. Having a baby with someone you don't love. This is why i found it hard to break up with her although I'd thought about it many times in the past. I was By entering this site you declare People reports the famous couple's "miracle baby"-a daughter-was born Wednesday, Nov. 7, via surrogate. You're an adult. You've been clear with him from the start. My girlfriend admitted to me that she cheated. I think it's so hard for me to love this baby because I don't love my partner. I love my daughter and i care about my wife but there is no love on my end. My current girlfirend got pregnant while on the mini pill. Firstly, I am sending my regards to you all. There are many things that may cause a broken heart. Leaving a pregnant girlfriend with your child, in my view is very selfish and irresponsible. SEE THEM EVERYDAY. if she wants to put kid in day care every day, she can and you pay for it). SCENARIO 1: STAY WITH HER BECUASE SHE IS PREGNANT (THIS IS THE FOUNDATION OF THE RELATIONSHIP). sit the lady down n explain things to her and the most important thing is take very good care of your child. Eventually I grew to love him, but not the fairy tale kind of love. Sounds like she was looking for a sugar daddy and ended up getting pregnant. Babies can put stress on a couple because it requires both mom and dad to give of themselves. Having a complex relationship that involves a baby mama means you have to include the other woman in your life; whether you like it or not. Tist: We only dated for three months before I got pregnant. Has it ever gotten better. Would I do it again? No love. And if you guys were just friends with benefits, why continue the pregnancy? Only good thing that came out of it are my children. FATHER IS BLESSED WITH A CHILD BUT MISARABLE. ( though I don't see the first one as a mistake because making babies should not be a mistake.it is the natural order of things).you cant force people to do things out of their wishes and desires. Good one boys real mature!! I don't want to burden her with any of this, especially now that she needs to be calm and feel secure. Americans love coffee. Sometimes people make choices to abort, adopt, or keep the child. I mean really a woman gets pregnant with your child and there are no options but to marry her? Your best bet might be to stay with your gf for now, bond with your child and forge a relationship with him/her. I'm having a baby with someone I'm not in love with. Not that it matters - if you have feelings for someone else, you can't be in love with your gf so sounds like leaving is the right decision, as staying together for a child with someone you don't love never works out in the long run. Add to Collection. know it's right to give her the fact straight but she is just a really nice person, and I feel really **** you know! One in 4 women will hang onto 11 lbs. It depends on the person. I know this is not the time to criticise as the harm has already been caused, but i will still ask: If you claim you dnt love someone, how on earth did u get involved with her, let alone put her in the family way? Women are doing everything they can to get contraception. Asking why you had sex with her in the first place wont solve this problem cos its everywhere in our societies and its just unfortunate your hit and run opportunity couldnt worked out. What kept us together is our deep friendship and and our ability to communicate. Opinions please. I'm curious to find out how it turned out for you. U dont love her bcos u havent made ur mind to do so the moment u sit down to think about this gurl as a grown man n de future, am sure u start developin love for her and am sure u liked her thats why u slept with her what makes u slept with her?? Subscribe to Medium for only $5/month & read ALL my sizzling hot stories! Don't get me wrong here, my daughter can destroy with the best of them. If she says she doesn't want the relationship then that's fine but if a man says he doesn't then that's selfish. A lot of women are alone while pregnant or with young children and they have a life they can be proud of. K lemme get one thing straight. Damaged. There is no right way to be a parent there is the only way that you want to do it. This is why friends with benefits is never a good idea. THE CHILD UNSTABLE, EVEN MORE **** UP. Does anyone relate? To allow yourself to stay in a toxic relationship will be useless. THEN, MAYBE THEY BREAK UP CUZ THEY CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE. @jessi, how come i never get to meet these kind of guys,i swear i would have cut off your stupid sausage,put in the toilet and flush it off nonsence, @jessi, maame plz its rude to cut sumones sausage.sincerely the fault might come from the gal,maybe she did self arrangement ahohyehy3.and resulted in the pregnancy. If someone truly needs GA, that's absolutely what it's for. I don't know if that's just hormones talking or what! It has been the hardest most brutal experience of my life. I got pregnant with a 34 year old man with another baby and I'm only 19 we've know each other 3 months now but only knew each other a couple weeks when we found out. He's controlling you since you are 100% dependent on him. When I did he the. I make significantly more income then her, so I know she will need the child support, which will at least allow me to be in my child's life, but I don't want my child to be exposed to an unhappy marriage. Now she's pregnant. First, she's too far along. Amazed how women can be on these forums. And one of the problems is the appearance of a question having a baby with someone you don't want to be with, how to deal with it? You may want to consider marriage counseling talk to your pastor, priest whatever. After having a baby, a woman will be, on average, 2.5 to 5 lbs. THIS IS THE ENVIROMENT IN THIS SITUATION. Honestly if I wouldn't of gotten pregnant I would not be with him. Know theways to move on after a bad relationship to help you to get better. It tears me apart. He's controlling. And if your parents think you guys are in love Then how does that work? My father married my mother when she became pregnant times were different then of course. Where are you from? But I don't know if I can be with her for the rest of my life. Long story short, I don't love my pregnant girlfriend. For more information, please see our Might not happen overnight but think of where you want to see yourself in a year. (5 kg) or more a year after giving birth, Live Science previously reported. But the decision that you take will not only have an impact in your life, but in others people's life too. Do i tell my boyfriend i slept with someone else during short break up? Please specify a reason for deleting this reply from the community. Being pregnant is not a free pass for not working. Does he still love me? I've been trying to put my pride/ego/whatever aside and be with her, but it really kills me. But kids are smarter than you think. I know life would be so much easier if we were together, but I don't know if it's worth it. But, then again, falling in love is always phenomenal and terrifying. I don't get how you came to that conclusion and you are just a bitter girl that It's stressful I have strong feelings for him and he says he does to but it's not just are little fantasy anymore things got so rushed and our maturity levels are so different. We strive to provide you with a high quality community experience. You could split amicably and try to remain friends to do what's best for the child. One slight problem I don't love her! Like, we really, seriously, truly love it. After a wonderful pregnancy I spontaneously gave birth at 29 weeks.